We could say that life is ultimately about making choices, but that doesn’t really capture it. It is more about living with the choices we have made. In multiple fields of study “path dependence” is a meaningful thing. In math there are things that appear reversable, but really aren’t. For example 2^2 (two squared) is 4. But if you take the square root of 4, theoretically reversing the square, 2 is one answer, but -2 is also possible. -2*-2 is 4. Squaring is technically not reversible. Most of life is not reversible. And if we try to reverse things we often end up on the negative side of the ledger satisfying nobody. Moving forward is the only real path.
I’ve been thinking about choices recently for a couple reasons. I’ve noticed in my kids and not just my kids, a hesitancy, maybe even a fear, about making choices. Something that goes beyond the simple procrastination that affects 99% of us. (Yes, I am writing this on Friday, two days after I wanted it done.) I’ll ask my youngest, “how are college applications going? Where are you applying?” And he will leave the room. I’ll ask the middle child, “So, have you had enough time off? Have any initial thoughts? Anything Dad could help with?” And he will continue playing a video game. Or positively start making dinner for us. Path dependent irreversible decisions. But like Rush (the band, not the radio voice) would say, “if you refuse to decide, you still have made a choice.” Unlike math, life comes with default decisions that the world will press on you. And the world’s defaults are usually pretty poor.
The fear of choice, or the fear of living with them, that can paralyze might be the most common, but it isn’t the only reaction. Two others are nostalgia and recklessness. If the kids are paralyzed, there is plenty of longing for the way things used to be. But decisions have been made. And those decisions landed us here. And because it is life, those decisions are irreversible. The problem of sin is that we have to live with its effects. The ultimate one being death. But it is not just sins. Most things we choose in life are not choices of black or white. We are not that good. We choose between different shades of gray. The materialist might point at the 2nd law of thermodynamics – everything ends in heat death. The Christian understands that we live in a fallen world. Perfectly fine choices can still end up troubling. And we find ourselves longing for some time we didn’t have to live with the results. The flip side is recklessness. Sure, why not become a day trader. Bet it all on Bitcoin at $100,000. I have an acquaintance who recently lost $10M paper dollars in just such a way. Easy come, easy go.
What then are we to do? We can’t go back. Wallowing in nostalgia is like Harry Potter staring at the Mirror of Erised. As Dumbledore tells him, many people have lost their one life staring at it. Yet repeatedly going all in doesn’t seem wise. And pushing it all out might be the worst – getting pushed down a path you never even chose. Three things worth keeping in minds at such times. First, “All things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).” That might sound hopelessly polyanna-ish or trite, but it is really the promise that God loves you. His providence is with you. The Spirit helps us in our weakness. Trust that even if you find yourself leaving Ur for a land you do not know (Abraham) that God is working in you for good. And he has good works laid out in advance for you to walk in (Ephesians 2:10). So Walk in them. Second, you really have eternity. This world may feel highly pressured, but try living into that promise. “We believe in the resurrection of the death and the life of the world to come.” The paths that you will walk will be infinite and better than today. So keep walking. And lastly the teacher, “there is nothing better than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; and to eat and drink and take pleasure in all your toil – that is God’s gift to man (Ecclesiastes 3:12).” Find the joy in what is set before you. Find the joy in the walk. It’s heavenward all the way.