A Good Life Script

Sociologists or Psychologists might use the term life scripts. They are simply narratives of how one might see his life playing out if everything went perfectly. Nothing ever goes perfectly in life, but a general life script is rather robust. Before the great disruption these were things fathers gave to sons and mothers to daughters almost by default. Those life scripts did a couple of things. First, they passed on the collective wisdom of the ages. But then they also gave society’s general approval to accomplishments that benefited both the individual and society.  Graduating from school, getting a job, getting married and having kids is a successful life script. If you followed it and stuck with it you will find your share of satisfaction out of life.

But for many people those life scripts were thrown out around mid-century.  On the one hand, it opened life up to an endless series of choices which could be more rewarding and fulfilling than the defaults parents used to hand on.  It opened up self-actualization on a clean sheet of paper. On the other, if you were not able to set your own goals, and society stopped rewarding and often punished as “square” the former choices, many thinking they were chasing self-actualization simply shipwrecked their lives.

It is spring, and as they say that is when “a young man’s heart turns to love.” I also just saw past my 25th anniversary. And something as a pastor that I do want to encourage is a piece of a life script with biblical backing.  The very first act of God toward mankind is officiating a wedding.  We Lutherans might not call marriage a sacrament, but that is more because sacraments are a definitional game, and we are very specific. A Lutheran sacrament is for the forgiveness of sins (along with instituted by Christ and having a visible means.) But the first blessing of God to all mankind are the vocations of husband and wife.  The right and proper life script of a Christian most likely involves marriage.  We will discuss exceptions which are not about self-actualization. Our culture is still pushing that well past its sell-by date and even defines marriage around it.  But a marriage that is about individual self-actualization is not a marriage.

So first, what is a marriage?  Jesus centers marriage in his teaching in Matthew 19 and Mark 10 and he quotes from that first marriage, almost like he was the officiant. The picture given is that marriage is the creation of “one flesh (Gen 2:24).” The individuals are gone, the marriage is the reality.  And from here I am roughly going to follow the marriage liturgy’s description.  That reality of our marriages is a reflection, an icon, of the union of Christ and the church.  And just as you cannot imagine Christ and the church splitting, a rupture in an icon of it tells us something has gone wrong.

But what is the purpose of marriage?  Marriage is first “intended by God for the mutual companionship, help and support that each person ought to receive, both in prosperity and adversity.” If we are seeking self-actualization, when things aren’t working to our personal advantage, we take off.  The Christian marriage is made of sterned stuff.  Marriage is about the sexual union.  “God has not called us to impurity but in holiness.” Sex is an aspect of marriage and apart from that is an act of theft and falsehood.  Why exactly? Because “God also established marriage for the procreation of children.” This is the one that bothers the self-actualization folks the most.  Marriage has a purpose outside of the self.  And that purpose is the creation of the living one flesh union of children.  The last purpose the liturgy gives us is that marriage exists so that those children “may be brought up in the fear and instruction of the Lord.”  This is a primary Christian calling.  God blessed it in Eden before the fall.  And paradoxically sacrificing the self for the union and the kids will lead to much greater satisfaction than most self-actualization schemes.

So what can we say about exceptions? The apostles, after hearing Jesus’ teaching on marriage, decide that “it would be better not to marry (Matt 19:10).” It is something of a crude joke ala “heh, if I can’t divorce why would I ever marry. I’ll just fornicate.” And Jesus responds to them that their assumption is wrong.  “There are eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom.”  The apostle Paul elaborates on this in 1 Corinthians 7.  The married person “is anxious about worldly things (7:33).”  Things like husband and wife and their welfare.  Things like kids and their instruction.  But the single person has the ability “to secure undivided devotion to the Lord.” Not to self-actualize to the maximum, to live only for the self.  But that calling is to live for God.  There is a reason both Jesus and Paul think that is a tougher calling.  Jesus adds his phrase, “Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” which I always read as him thinking not too many.

So, you do have the Christian freedom to follow different life scripts. But contrary to the world there are God ordained paths.  Marriage is a likely path for most. And something to be held up for honor.

Mid-Wit Meme Wedding?

Biblical Text: Ruth 1:1-19

This text used to be a standard wedding text. It is also one of the texts that people use in a certain way that gets under the skin of a certain type of minister – bringing up the mid-wit meme. For my money, Ruth is the best book in all of scripture to really get the gospel. This sermon using that mid-wit meme as a start, attempts to see how Christ is in Ruth, and in so far as our marriages are icons or images or Christ and the church, Ruth’s pledge of faith is exactly right for a wedding.

Marriage, Faith, Good Wine

Biblical Text: John 2:1-11

Preaching on John is always interesting. The wedding at Cana is one of those texts that you just can’t drain it all. 180 gallons of good wine will do that. This sermon has three movements. The first is doctrinal. The wedding at Cana reminds us how much God loves and blesses marriage. The second is personal. Mary is the picture of Faith. The interaction of Jesus and his mother is a picture of the test of faith. And what God gives through that test. The last movement is what the church used to call a spiritual or mystical reading. Why six stone jars, why water to brim, and what about the wine? This one goes in the keeper file.

Forming Institutions – Marriage

Biblical Text: Mark 10:2-16

There are lots of biblical texts about human sexuality. There are also lots of texts about freedom. This text has more to say about both and their intersection than any of the rest. This is Jesus talking about how God made it, and this is Jesus giving the gospel key to understand the rest. This text, just as it was in its day, is a nuclear explosion against all the settled pieties and selfish claims of our cultural moment. This is my attempt to preach it. I’m content with this.

God’s Good Order

Biblical Text: Mark 10:2-16 (Genesis 2:18-25)
Full Sermon Draft

Reflecting Chesterton, it isn’t that Jesus’ teaching on marriage and sexuality is hard to grasp and not worth the time, it is that it is easy to grasp and not desired to give it the time. The teaching is real simple. Marriage is a first thing; sexuality is part of marriage. It is the desires of our heart that wish to make marriage one potential form of a sex life. It is the desires of our heart that take God’s good order and wish to remake it in some other design. This sermon has three parts. The first is an examination of the heart, “where does sin come from?” The second is an examination of Jesus’ teaching from the text and also how it is taught clearly through the church’s wedding liturgy. The last part is an attempt to reconcile “what do we do” when we are so far away from that teaching.

Worship Note: I haven’t been leaving in the music sections as much because the recordings haven’t been as good. I’m not sure this one a great recording, but I want to mention the hymn. It was our opening. I’ve moved it to the end in the recording. LSB 858, O Father, All Creating. It is a marriage or wedding hymn, but we so rarely sing at our weddings anymore as they are special occasions and not congregational celebrations anymore. This particular song is not so specific to a bride and groom standing before the gathered as to prevent general use. It appropriates a good hymn tune familiar from The Church’s One Foundation. And the text well celebrates both the biblical foundations and directions of marriage, and the prayers that we would ask of God for our individual marriages. And our organist had a wonderful introduction.

He Preached the Good News…

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Biblical Text: Luke 3:15-22
Full Sermon Draft

The day on the Church calendar was the Baptism of Christ and the text recognizes that. I think in the sermon there is recognition of baptism. If not, all the hymns of the day picked up on it as their connecting theme. But as I was preparing the sermon verse 18 (“So with many other exhortations he preached good news to the people”) combined with a comment by Origin (2nd Century Teacher quoted in the sermon) made me look at John the Baptist himself. What was the gospel, the good news, that John preached?

As he would say, “Christ must increase, I must decrease”, so as a preacher the core of that Good News was simply the bridegroom has come – Jesus. That is the core of any preaching. But John’s good news, just from this brief snippet (Luke 3:1-22), is expansive. And Luke’s version of John has a striking and touching emphasis. After pointing out the bridegroom – the kinsman redeemer of Israel, John preaches against a false in everyway redeemer, Herod. Jesus & Israel are the bridegroom and sanctified bride. Herod and Herodias are the mocking of that redemption. John calls him out, and pays with his freedom and life. John’s preaching of good news, includes the role of suffering.

I didn’t make the connection in the sermon because the sermon itself is more breadth than depth. Pulling together all the threads of levirate marriage that this text relies on would have been explaining too much for a sermon. Better suited for a study. But marriage as the symbol of what God does for his people, and the mocking of marriage made by the state, and John’s suffering caused by that confrontation, seems applicable.

Recording Note: I have left in our opening hymn Lutheran Service Book 405 To Jordan’s River Came Our Lord. The congregation sounded great, and that hymn really captures the core message of the festival – “This man is Christ our substitute!” Also, they sang it post the OT reading, but I’ve moved it after the sermon here. These recordings can’t really capture the full service. We don’t really have the recording equipment for that, so the focus is really on the spoken parts (i.e. texts and sermon). But, I included our Choir singing a wonderful Epiphany piece. I included such things as markers to the full live experience. Worship really is about being there.

Grace was Never Practical

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Biblical Text: Mark 10:2-26
Full Sermon Draft

This sermon is a little longer than my typical one. The subject from the gospel text is marriage and divorce. Because the contextual density of the topic and because of its high profile in our general culture this sermon takes its time and spells out all the steps. I believe I arrive at the proclamation of the gospel, but it might not be the gospel we always want to hear.

The City of God

Text: Mark 10:2-16
Full Draft of Sermon

Augustine is one of those people who even if we have never read him still influences our thoughts. He influences the categories that place things in without us knowing it. Two of those categories are the City of God and the City of Man. We tend to slip into a little too dualistic thinking, making the City of Man all bad or evil. That isn’t really the case. The City of Man has its good and proper things. In fact it is usually good enough that we refuse to consider something else and spend out days desperately grasping what we have in the City of Man.

In Mark 10 Jesus lays out core distinctions between the Kingdom or City of God and the common perception. And he starts with marriage and divorce, which to be polite, Jesus is beyond the bounds of polite discourse.

But core distinction that he is trying to get at I think is this. The City of Man runs on accommodation. Because everything in the city of man comes with an expiration date, everything runs on making accommodation. The City of God runs on absolution. Accommodation hides. Absolution reveals. Accommodation eventually fails. You run into something that can’t be accommodated. God never runs out of grace. And that’s it, the currency of the City of God is grace. It buys nothing in the City of Man; but its what opens out eyes to something better.

The Elder’s Turn

Biblical Text: Ephesians 5:22-33
Full Sermon Text

I was on vacation this Sunday, so our Elders filled in. One elder in particular, Dr. Warriner, you will hear on the podcast delivering the sermon.

I didn’t want to appear like the biggest chicken selectively picking the week of one of the toughest texts to modern ears to be on vacation, so I ghost wrote it. I would make a lousy speech-writer. I’m too much of a narcissist to get into someone else’s voice. Anyway, the text is St. Paul on marriage. The attempt is to find the grace in tough words.

Christian Marriage


Biblical Text: John 15:9-17
Full Text of Sermon

Finding poignancy in pop songs is pretty tough. Lady GaGa flirts with it before retreating to camp and a great bass line. There are the ever so earnest indies. The ingenues like Adele whose combine the virtues of youth and a healthy supply of talent, but that usually doesn’t age well. Something close to of the moment (I’m a pastor with three young kids, so cut me a little slack) – “somebody that I use to know“. One of the pop lines that has stuck with me is from Matchbox 20’s Real World. The Chorus, after having the singer imagine that he’s rainmaker, sings about the real world – “Please don’t change, please don’t break. The only thing that seems to work at all is you.” I remember thinking when I first heard it that the song feels the fallen world. A bunch of people looking for something that works knowing that everything eventually breaks.

That is where the orthodox understanding of marriage comes in. Everything in this fallen world breaks: towers and titans, marriages and friendships, toys and trinkets. And when we move past bargaining- “Please don’t break” we move toward acceptance, at least if pop psychology is correct. Acceptance in the realm of marriage looks like what we have – a landscape full of people that we used to know, maybe even those living with us.

But acceptance is not the endpoint of the Christian story. We might accept that things break, but not for the purpose of excusing them or making the brokenness normal. If we say the brokenness is normal, we lose the gospel. Instead we teach repentance – I’m broke. And we teach restoration – Christ makes all things new.

In regard to marriage we could teach acceptance, but that is what Moses did, that is what the law does. And the law permits divorce. In this day and age it is permitting a whole bunch else as well. But Jesus didn’t teach that. If he did, we wouldn’t have the cross, because that is what Jesus did for his bride the church. And you don’t do the cross if there is another way out. We are broken. We live in a broken world. But Christ was not. Jesus fulfills the covenant that marriage is a glimpse of. The bridegroom shares 100% of himself with his bride. The crucified one is the only thing around here that works.